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What I wrote today instead of notes for class..

 
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DICHOTOMY
BLOWN MINDS


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 4640

PostPosted: Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:59 am    Post subject: What I wrote today instead of notes for class.. Reply with quote

You’re abusing your eyes again
Staring at photos
Of the body you entered
For so many seasons
And the woman you once loved
Is asleep to the radio
In the car of a artist
Who snows on her body
The fit and the fury of
A blizzard so vile
Makes you shudder and sweat
In the sheets that your mother bought
Indentions and rivets
Of something that should’ve been
Haunts you much worse than
The hate of your father
And outside your window
The children will wander
With eyes made of rubies
Ripe for the harvest
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crofty
.
.


Joined: 16 Nov 2009
Posts: 290
Location: Devon, England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i dig that.
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Pens
less dickface


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 13750
Location: South St. Louis

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Damn.
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DICHOTOMY
BLOWN MINDS


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 4640

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

crofty wrote:
i dig that.

thanks Very Happy.
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SpaceFace
.
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Joined: 15 Dec 2008
Posts: 219
Location: unfortunately florida, near tampa

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The last 2 lines were awesome. Well I mean the whole thing was cool but I like those last 2 lines.
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Chicago Mike
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Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Posts: 1081
Location: Oklahoma, USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

deep. and i like it.
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DICHOTOMY
BLOWN MINDS


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 4640

PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks for reading it guys.
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Reece
.
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Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 10347
Location: Kent, UK

PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

damn that was awesome.

i was hearing chords in my head while i was reading it. it would be awesome put to music.
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Mages
súper crujiente


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 7439
Location: MD

PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yea, that was pretty cool. I think hearing it, either set to music, or just spoken would make it come to life. when I read it, it's just like a run on sentence. =P

but that's also kind of cool in a way.
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gaybear
Inventor of the Blues


Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 9617
Location: hard corvallis, oregon

PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ts'aight, but needs more cleavage.
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izodiak
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Joined: 25 Jan 2008
Posts: 1480
Location: Latvia

PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 10:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its, like, about the relationship, I suppose.
Very intense, I like it.

(not much of a poem fan,but this is nice,passionate,in a strange way,if I can say so)
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BoringPostcards
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Joined: 30 Jul 2009
Posts: 1424
Location: Newfoundland

PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 11:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

very good indeed.
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DICHOTOMY
BLOWN MINDS


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 4640

PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

aw thanks d00ds.
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