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Dan's Narcissism personified



Dan as a Mexican BeerfrauDan with fake beer at Dot's Birthday party Jagermeister (aka Dan aka Slade aka the Dangly Banger) is a famous Englipino on, a position which puts him at least halfway in league with other great forumites such as Lino, as well as Lino's left hand. Jagermeister knows that DoTs finds it creepy to refer to onesself in the third person, however creepy is an adjective well suited to Jagermeister. Few people seem to get the pun involved with Jagermeister's screen name, which ought to be pronounced "Jag-ermeister" (note lack of umlauts), as in being the master of Jags or something, though I guess it could translate to Jagmaster in German kind of.

Early History

Jagermeister used to strut with a strat. He emitted a high pitched shriek during coitus, which was always tuned to a perfect G#, earning him the nickname Pitch. He alone kept a tooth whitening factory in Cologne, Germany in business. He liked to think of himself as an 80s butt-rock icon, and was much maligned when the style fell out of fashion. Even a revamp in flannel midway through his modelling carreer did not help this. It wasn't until Jagermeister picked up his first Jag that he was able to revert from this state into the current Asian Midget that he exists as.

Other Hobbies

Jagermeister loves you all, in the creepy uncle sort of way. Jagermeister enjoys rescuing small children who have fallen into wells in his spare time. Jagermeister's other genuine passion is obscure British sports cars. Jagermeister's only ambition in life is to weave his leghairs into a permanent pair of pants, complete with zipper. He is very narcissistic which is why one of his hobbies is taking horribly emo pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror, and emblazoning his visage on a les paul case. he loves Gin more than he loves himself. If he could bring a Gin to everyone's face, he would.

Dan composes embarassingly sappy music mostly on acoustic.

Shortscale Infatuation

Dan loved the Fender jaguar ever since he first laid eyes on it, and loved it more after he played it. The Jag was brought to young Jagermeister's attention mostly by John Frusciante. He gained an appreciation for bands like Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr., Nirvana, and other shortscale playing bands later. He always wanted a Fender Mustang, so he had Aug build him one out of spare parts. Other bands Dan likes are Faith no More, The Melvins, The Beach Boys, Dick Dale and Alice in Chains.

Dan's Guitars

the Jag

The Jag

The Jag is a very late MIJ model JG-66, finished in Candy Apple Red. The body wood is actually alder, and it has a nice flame on the back of the neck that I haven't seen on MIJs... All stock, save one replaced switch and wiring entirely redone in cloth by Aug. Dan loves this guitar and enjoys taking pics of it in scenic locales.

scenic locale another scenic locale


Project Assfaultcaster

Project Assfaultcaster began when Dan wanted a Competition Orange Mustang. Plans changed when he found a vintage 66 Mustang body, and 66 Duo-sonic neck, which led Dan to believe that he should follow the hole 66 thing and make it look reasonabl like one... (plus the stripe would look like ass without the contour body, and he didn't want to refinish the headstock on this nice neck). Unfortunately, the body was covered in a strange asphault like substance. Aug was able to reassemble the splinters into something reasonably resembling a guitar. Dan assures you that it is quite the player, and loves it very much. A before pic can be seen above. Assfaultcaster was finished in October of 2006, finished in Daphne Blue, with no assfault whatsoever

less assfault Purdy stang

Takamine Acoustics

Dan is also in possession of a 1976 Takamine Acoustic guitar, and a cheap Jasmine model from the 1990s... as well as countless other butchered and barely functional acoustics. They all look alike, so no pics needed. Just imagine an acoustic.


Vox AD30VT

Actually not that bad. Decent Marshall Models... Good Vox ones too. Fender models are a bit less great, but workable. It'll hold Dan over til he gets his silverface Champ or Bronco amp. Has chrome and lots of switches, so that's good. libra

1970 Fender Libra

They only made these for one year. Once Dan get's speakers for it, he'll find out why.


Jordan Troubadour

Another crappy solid state thing.


Dan is too poor for them. Actually no, screw effects.

Wanted Gear

Dan finds himself wanting for little but a Silverface Fender tube amp of some kind, and a 68 Competition Mustang in Orange with the red stripe. Dan lusts over all the predictable things.

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